Tuesday, December 14, 2004
i guess it all started with him and her.
i dunno why but i had to make myself heard.
so it became the three of us.
studied by that window
i remember so clearly.
made my marvelous entrance
with the stupid calculator thingy. lol.
then somehow she came along.
she was her friend.
so i thought,
more brains would make it all simpler
wouldnt it.?
esp since it was supposed to be all abt this study group.
she wanted to clear up some unclear stuff.
and i told myself it wouldnt be too much of problem, would it?
then it became the four of us.
meeting up once a week
clarifying any doubts we had.
doing work together
progressing together.
and then there was the exam period
oh i wouldnt forget.
i dare say it was one of the best parts of the year.
talked to her every single night.
for three weeks.
i'd sleep early and wait for her to call and wake me up.
and then she'd go off to bed.
maybe that was when i began to feel for her.
then there was the time when she didnt feel too good.
and i was there to talk to her on the phone.
asked what it was all about.
and she said it was about sw.
so i told her, why are you on the verge of tears
and her response,
"maybe its because theres a lucky girl out there getting a really sweet guy."
and then it was exactly how mom explained it to be.
with such a study group
it could develop into something more..
and it wasnt the time to get involved in anything.
but why. why didnt i listen.
got myself involved.
and then we got closer.
maybe i thought we were.
things were looking so bright
the start of a new beginning.
but i knew it wasnt gonna last.
it was going all too good.
i knew something would go wrong.
and then i had to blow up on her.
ruined it all.
was hoping i could save it,
but i guess it was all over when she said,
"dont take anything i do too seriously."
and then i could confirm it.
it was all nothing.
before that.
it didnt mean anything.
well, theres nothing i can do now, can i.
since she likes him.
and she told me.
"she likes him. she's not fickle. she never was."
"she didnt like him recently. she always did. she never stopped liking him."
and then my world crumbled.
all these pieces, theyre hard to pick up.
i guess i can say i was angry
i guess i can say i was depressed.
why am i so sad?
all i can say is,
maybe its because some guy out there is really lucky getting a girl like her.
but thank god i know theyre pple out there who care.
she. fellow pessimist. haha. is always cheering me up. thanks. =)
and he. haha. we shall dota all our time awayy. thanks, too.
i told you two everything.
how i felt.
and im glad you two were there to listen to me.
thankies.
ive learnt to let go now,
but sometimes i still get pictures of the past.
i see that folder in my handphone
with all her messages in it.
i hear those songs, and they remind me of her.
that 7-eleven, that mrt station.
that library, that road.
that 32, that 92
got me thinking about you.
that cinema, that movie.
it was the four of us,
with them two.
that moment where i looked you in the eye,
and you looked back at me,
when our faces were so close.
the times we had.
the memories we enjoyed.
well what can i do now.
i've got everyone telling me to get over it.
yes im trying,
and yes i think ive more or less done it.
thankew all so much for helping.
for tolerating.
cuz i know im been losing my temper exceptionally easy.
thanks.
and i thank her for giving me these memories.
cuz i know i wouldnt experience this again in the near future.
i must say she is a treasure thats hard to come by,
maybe thats why find it so hard to let her walk by.
cuz shes walked into my life
and left deep footprints in it.
im happy to know that we're still friends,
still on talking terms.
that it didnt all break.
and that we're still something better than we started off.
i cant help but say thanks again.
cuz i had the time of my life,
during those past few months i spent with you.
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